How to get rid of a client in 5-7 minutes or Bad Manager Practitioner

Ask yourself: how often do you reflect on how well you hear your client and how well your client hears you?
Did an immediate answer come to mind? No? That’s perfectly fine — there’s no need to waste time delving into the client’s “hearing problems” when you already have a mountain of unresolved current tasks.

If you’ve already added a brand’s logo to your portfolio under “Trusted by,” you can slowly start to ease up. No need to think anymore about client development, future collaborations, or effective strategies. Things will go however they go.

If you're tired of taking responsibility for projects, planning, creating strategic to-do lists, then congratulations — you've made it as a manager or department head. And if you feel an urgent desire to reduce your number of clients as much as possible, then strictly follow the guidelines below!

1. Under no circumstances should you delve into the project.

If your task is to launch an ad campaign according to the agreed plan, simply delegate the task to the appropriate specialist as a Project Manager. Do not set up your own internal control points (like launch verification, gathering initial stats, optimization, and adjustments). Just calmly send the report at the end of the campaign. And you don’t even need to read it — just hit the “forward” button. That’s what it’s there for! You’re saving your own time!

2. Always agree with the client’s position, edits, and suggestions.

If you followed point 1, point 2 will be a breeze. No need to try and understand why the client wants a change or insists on their point of view. It’s their brand — they know best!
If you wanted to build a true partnership, you might want to understand why the client made such a decision. You might even ask: “How do you see the situation?” Why not?
You’d offer alternatives to ensure success. But none of that concerns you :)

3. Prepare a ready-made list of excuses.

Be prepared for when you mess up. The client expects a long and detailed letter titled “Why this happened and why it’s not our fault,” not an actual solution.

Here are some pre-written options to choose from:

• The responsible manager was on vacation and didn’t transfer the files. Let’s go over everything again.
• We know the deadline was 5 days ago, but you’re not our only client. Plus, we took on an intern, and they work a bit slower. You also sent another round of edits, which we’re still processing. We’re working on it.
• The campaign performance metrics are fine; it’s just that your prices are too high.
• We can’t do it today — we’re not fairy godmothers!

4. No flexibility — stick to procedure!

Why consider different options or offer alternatives to the client? Why bother with thoughtful solutions? Go hard or go home!
If you show flexibility once, they’ll walk all over you.
Even if the failure was your fault, no worries — just call it “human error.” It happens. And next time, just hang up the phone. Loyalty is for the weak — show them who’s boss!

What’s the point?

The above is a satirical collection (based on real pain points) of how to thoroughly destroy your company’s reputation — and the reputation of your team, which may have no idea you don’t share your agency’s values or principles.
According to the concept of positioning, the Project Manager is the face of the company — the embodiment of its values, products, and services.

Communication, active listening, reasoning, clarification, and diagnostics — this is the Project Manager’s toolkit.

Immerse yourself in the project, understand the client’s goals and pain points. Clarify for both yourself and the client: “What are we doing? Why are we doing it? What result are we aiming for?”
Form a working team, set internal control points for both yourself and your colleagues — this is how you’ll be effective. The client will define their own checkpoints for you.

“The less a woman loves a man, the more he loves her.” Doesn’t work with clients!
To avoid facing authoritarian backlash, don’t just listen — hear your client. It’s not hard if you know what’s bothering them and can prescribe the right solution at the right time.

Be loyal and flexible. Be sensitive to the client’s interests. Show them the available alternatives and the risks. Agree on the most balanced option for both parties.

Remember: the unprofessionalism of one manager can nullify the hard work and achievements of an entire team.
Feel and project that you are strong, confident, competent, positive, ambitious, and decisive — and then you’ll clearly see your competitive advantages among the many.

Anastasiia Karyda, PROMO Project Manager, CF.Digital
Published on Sostav.ua